What signals is your partner sending you?

Many couples seek counselling when they feel emotionally disconnected from one another. This isn't something that just happens; it usually occurs subtly over time. Some couples can take years to realise that they have become emotionally disconnected.

Emotional connection is about reading the signals that your partner is sending you and responding positively to them.

Are you listening to each other on an emotional level?

Signals can be big or small. Verbal or nonverbal.

Your partner doesn’t want to feel vulnerable so they aren’t going to say to you “I really need some emotional connection with you right now.” Instead, they are likely to send out subtle messages, whilst subconsciously hoping you will respond.

There are often hidden messages in simple gestures. You don’t need to overthink it. Just pay more attention.

And when you detect your partner needs you, do you lean into it? Or do you turn away and reject it?

One of the biggest mistakes we make as couples is noticing our partners distress and picking up on their signals. Instead of responding to them with love and care, we REACT. You could withdraw, which leaves your partner feeling even more vulnerable and alone. Or you could personalise their distress, assuming it’s something you have done to cause their upset, which usually creates conflict.

You don’t need some deep and meaningful response. It’s not about being clever or insightful. You just need to be present and show you are there for them. Just show an interest in what they are saying and feeling. Genuinely. Authentically.

For bonus points, you could throw in a hug, a smile, a kiss on the cheek or some simple words of encouragement.

Become an experts at reading your partner. In return, they can become experts in reading you too. This means you know what is going on for your partner (if you don’t know, ask) and you know exactly how to soothe them. This is how we feel emotionally connected to each other. 

Understanding your partner and learning to read their emotional signals is one of the most rewarding and transformative skills we help couples develop in their relationship.

By becoming emotionally responsive to your partner, you can reconnect and rebuild your relationship. One signal at a time.

Need some help?

If you have developed some negative or even destructive patterns of responding to each other, you might need to unpick those first. Then you can build new ways of responding to each other. That’s where we can help.

We love to help couples build better relationships. That's our purpose.

We offer a free no-obligation 10-minute consultation over the phone to see if our service might be a good fit for you.