Can you accept the natural flaws in your relationship?

No relationship is without flaws. We all bring some of our own problems to the table.

Can you accept the fact that your partner has natural flaws? These may include the challenges they'll be carrying for the rest of their life. Can you support them with better understanding?

Stan Tatkin's book "Wired for Love" suggests ten fundamental principles to avoid common pitfalls in couple relationships.

In our counselling clinic in Melbourne, we often work with couples through many of these principles. We help couples build skills and develop a better understanding of eachother. We help them learn how to deal with setbacks and to keep their relationship growing.

The ten fundamental principles

Many of these critical elements likely already exist in your relationship; all you have to do is take better notice and nurture them.

1.    Create your own relationship bubble to encourage your partner to feel comfortable and secure.

2.    Make love, not war. You can learn to calm the security-seeking parts of you brain to reduce tension and conflict.

3.    Understand if you are securely attached, insecure or ambivalent. Develop better insights into your relationship patterns to form a more secure attachment.

4.    Become experts in eachother so you can easily delight and comfort one another when you sense its required.

5.    Use morning and bedtime rituals to stay connected with your partner, especially when you have hectic lives.

6.    Become THE go-to-person for eachother in times of need.

7.    Don’t let your partner become a third wheel in relationships with outsiders. Make sure they know and feel that they are number one.

8.    Learn how to fight effectively. Fighting well is an artform. It’s an essential skill for successful relationships. 

9.    Learn to eye contact to rediscover your connection and love for eachother.

10. Support eachother to reduce stress and improve your health and wellbeing. This, in turn, will give you the strength and mindset for a happier relantionship.

These fundamental principles are based on the most recent scientific findings. But they don’t require an understanding of the complexities of science. You can use them to cure, adapt, and change to build a better relationship.

Do you want to build a better relationship?

Maybe you are feeling unhappy? Maybe you are feeling lost? Maybe you are even starting to think about separation or divorce?

We see this all the time. But please don’t lose hope. Every relationship faces big challenges – its inevitable.

In our couples counselling clinic in Melbourne, we love to work with couples and help them to build a better relationship. We offer a free no-obligation 10-minute consultation over the phone to see if our service might be a good fit for you.